Of time, money and passion

I had this topic a few months ago. On that occasion, i spoke briefly on the principles that these 3 elements are necessities for success. This time, however, I will speak of my own life, and of its doubts.

I once thought i am going to be a full-fledged pop singer in a few years time. In my experiences this whole year, i have decided and confirmed that it is really not going to be. There was emptiness in that dream, and it wasnt a sign from the heavens above. But my eyes are set on something else. On a session in Emerge 2years ago, I had a vision that i was singing to the congregation, leading praise and worship. That image, I have not forgotten. For the Word says, the young shall see visions and the old shall see dreams.

Should i continue my lessons in Lee Wei Song School of Music(LWSSOM)? If you are wondering what i am doing this holidays, then i can tell you that i am spending time thinking.

Do i have the time next semester to commit one evening/week for a lesson in Somerset? And do i have the time to practise during the week? Where do i find a place in NTU hall to do so? Could the time be better spent doing other stuff, like my schoolwork? Or maybe earn some points with the JCRC for a more secure place in getting a hall next year? Or maybe i could just join a music club. The question is, could i be doing more useful if i din continue my lessons in LWSSOM? Maybe yes, maybe.......

It takes 230plus dollars per month for vocal lessons. Its a substantial part of my monthly allowance.

If i were to continue, then the motive is really to help myself become a better singer for God. I will be training to become a good worship leader and not a pop singer.

At times, i feel that these lessons are a refuge for me. Away from committments, away from troubles, away from trying to meet the expectations of others. A part of me just says i can just be a "normal" person there.

But after writing so much, i find myself coming back to the light. I can choose to be a "normal" person, but my personal growth stops there. I won't see myself being more able to handle the affairs of life, or how to grow people under my tutelage. I won't see myself making an impact in the society. This is a price too high for me to pay. And i refuse to pay.

Nevertheless, there are good parts too. I sincerely enjoy myself every lesson. I had great friends in my class in Level1 and i know one of them is going on Level2. I look forward in attending the classes with her if possible. I know we can spur each other on because both of us really want to become better musicians. Music is always the topic we talk on msn, and though we belong in different social status; she being a working person, and me a student; I am grateful that we still have a common topic. And she has a amazing voice, William knows.

To end it all, what is the decision that i should make? There must be a clear answer. I believe the answer is with God. Heaven knows. Really.